Expect to Be Stared At

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“This one’s hysterical,” Andy said. “You’ve got to see it. You look like you were hit by a train.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I replied. “Did you see the photo I got?”

We went out on a photography expedition this morning in lieu of our regular Krav Maga class. We’re both sidelined from Krav with injuries at the moment, so we’re having to find other ways to spend our Sunday mornings. Inspired by my recent photographic foray around Seattle, we grabbed the dogs and the cameras and popped out the door bright and early to see what we could see.

Unbeknownst to me, Andy was photographing me while I was photographing other things. It’s kind of funny to see myself in action. I’m going to take advantage of these spectacular action shots to illustrate my secrets to great photography.

1) Have no pride. To get the great photos you’ve got lay in the dirt, crawl under benches, balance on boulders, hang over railings, twist yourself into incredibly unflattering poses, and stand like an idiot in the middle of the street. Expect to be stared at and commented on by passers-by. You’ll need your “who cares?” attitude to get good photos. Hey, you’ll never see these people again. Their opinions only last for moment. That perfect photo will last a lifetime. Mind you, Andy did yell at me once for lying on a grave in England. Apparently that’s frowned upon over there. But I got a great shot of the headstone.

2) Don’t wear your good clothes. All that sprawling and crawling is not a friend of delicate fabrics. You need to wear whatever’s old and sturdy and can put up with a lot of abuse. All I’m gonna say on this one is that I look incredibly color coordinated in black and white…

That crazy third shot, you know, the one where I look like I’ve been hit by the train? Yeah, that one. That’s a shot of me taking that gorgeous second shot of the rail. I know, I know, I look ridiculous. And yes, there was a stream of tourists parading by, probably all staring at me like I was deranged. But wasn’t it worth it?