Talk and Listen

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Last week I visited my dentist, the one who made my Krav Maga mouthguard. That lovely mouthguard is of clearly superior quality to anything I’ve had before, and he came highly recommended by my Krav Maga instructor, so I went back to him to get a night guard (TMJ splint) made. The man’s a real expert, as most professional martial artists can tell you. He knows how a mouthguard should be made, he’s got the degree and the training, and he makes it right. He has expertise, and I’m always intrigued by experts, whatever their field.

He began by explaining to me the process he used to make my nightguard, and why it produced a mouthpiece that will really help my TMJ. And he seemed genuinely surprised that I remembered all the details from when I got my Krav Maga mouthguard. Apparently, most people don’t pay attention? Hey, if I pay an expert for their time, I’m going to listen to them. That’s why I’m paying them - so I don’t have to be the expert.

I’ve always believed in taking advice from experts, and learning from other people’s mistakes. Honestly, I’m pretty ecstatic when an expert chooses to take some time and share a little of their expertise with me. I find it fascinating. Maybe it comes from being a youngest child. If my oldest sister tried something, say for a 5th grade project, and it didn’t work, and then my brother tried it the next year, and it didn’t work, and then my other brother tried it three years later, and it didn’t work, why would I try the same thing when I hit 5th grade? Craziness. I’ve seen that wall, and it didn’t move for the last three people who beat their head against it. I like my skull, so I’m thinking I’ll look for a door, instead, thanks anyway…



Now I bet you’re wondering why you’re looking at all of these pictures of my dogs. Note that these are not just random pictures. These are pictures of my dogs being very good, on leash, even though they’re completely stoked about being at dog beach and desperate to plunge into the ocean. This here is what we call “photographic evidence”.

So anyway, I ran into a guy walking his dog yesterday morning. Well, to be honest, the dog was walking him. Apparently he remembered me, although I couldn’t place him to save my life. According to him, about a year ago he asked me how to get his dog to walk well on leash. I get a lot of similar questions, because my dogs are really well trained. Personally, I consider that training an investment in peace, and peace of mind. And, you know, I train them to walk well on leash because I dislike having my shoulder dislocated on a daily basis.

I’m a huge Dog Whisperer fan - talk about an expert! And Cesar Millan recommends a weighted bag for dogs who pull. My younger dog carries 10 lbs in a doggie backpack on a regular basis. You see, if they’re carrying something, they find it a lot harder to pull on the leash. They don’t multi-task well, and that’s a lot to think about. And if they still pull with the bag on, then pop a ball or a toy in their mouth. Now they’re out of brain cells - none left to remember to pull!

So this guy is quite excited to tell me that I recommended a dog backpack and that he bought one. Although obviously he’s not using it. And then he regales me with tales of how “bad” that dog turned out to be, and how he had to get rid of it. So I gently pointed out the warning signs that his new dog needs training. You know, the subtle things, like the fact it’s hopping along like a kangaroo on its back two legs straining at the end of the leash. And how it’s jumping on everyone it can reach, and intimidating other dogs. Mind you, this isn’t a chihuahua we’re talking about. This is a Husky. He’s not going to win a tug-of-war on leash with this guy. I’m also quick to point out that I’m no expert, and I suggest he might want to watch The Dog Whisperer to pick up some tips.

“I don’t believe in all that crap. It’s all complete bunk. He’s just putting that on - it’s not real!” Um, OK. Well, obviously the way you’re doing it is working sooooo well. So, by all means, call the expert names. That will make you look better.



Now there was a point in my life where I would have stayed and earnestly tried to explain to this guy why Cesar Millan truly is an expert, and why his methods work. I can get quite passionate, almost evangelical, about things I believe in. But you know what? I can see that there brick wall. Looks just like a lot of other brick walls I’ve seen in my life. And I just don’t have any urge to pound my head against it.

So I excused myself and ambled home. Hey, it was a beautiful, cool morning. I had jewelry to make, breakfast to eat, green tea to drink. What a gorgeous day! And my opinions? I’ll just save those up. Someday, I’ll get that question again. From someone who talks and listens.

Strong Like Ox

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An interesting sideline of Krav Maga class is trying to figure out who is paired up with whom. It’s not so obvious as you might think. People arrive and leave in groups, people chat a lot with a variety of people, and we don’t wear jewelry, so there’s no quick look for a wedding ring. I’ve worked out with some of these people for a year before I even found out that they were married. And people tend not to spar with their partners in class. After all, that’s your sparring partner at home - you can punch them any day!

This leads to all sorts of amusing situations that us married folk haven’t really dealt with for years. Like the one guy who was very friendly with my friend, right up until he found out she was married. (Her husband, the very soul of subtlety - not! - finally said “hey, I see you’ve been working out with my wife a lot.” And the poor guy went “Wife? You’re married? Who? Her?”) He’s not spoken to her since. Now the interesting part is that this same guy avoided me like the plague until I mentioned that I was married. And now he’s fine with me. And from this we conclude what? He was attracted to my friend, obviously. But me? I’m thinking maybe I scared the pants off of him? All very intriguing.

Which leads me to the day I was sick and watching class from the sidelines. And there was this guy I’d never seen before, who also wasn’t participating. Instead he was apparently trying to impress the ladies by showing them how to do a front fallbreak. Only he was doing it wrong. So I went over and showed them how to do it right. And thereby attracted his attention. Which he proceeded to shower on me ad nauseum.

Now objectively, he was quite hot. Big, blonde, built, and oh, so very impressed with himself. Not really my type. But on top of that, he was, unfortunately, “strong like ox, dumb like stump”. Which makes him really not my type, were I in the market. Which I’m not. So I walked away to sit with my friend (the oh-so-subtle husband I mentioned above). And the hunk of wood, who we now refer to as “He Man, Master of the Universe”, followed me.

My friend (who happens to be a lawyer) and I were chatting about the legal issues with my HOA (Homeowners Association, for those of you lucky enough not to live in a condo). He Man, with his ego the size of the Universe, was not put off in the least by being ignored. Of course we wouldn’t be ignoring him. Him? Why, the world revolves around him. Everyone knows that. So he jumps right into our conversation with his best witty comment. “Do you know what else HOA stands for? Horn of Africa. And that’s one of the most dangerous places in the world!”

At which point we all stared at him like he had three heads, and then proceeded to ignore him again. But you know, having been married for a while now, it’s nice to remember why I didn’t go for the large muscle-bound type. Not to say there aren’t nice muscle-y guys out there. I’ve met a few myself. But that’s not one of my criteria. Me? I’ll stick with my nice, funny, smart guy. And if he’s a little geeky? Well, hey, nobody notices anyway. They’re all swept away by his cool British accent. And what the heck, I always had a thing for geeky.

Sound good to you? Well tough patooties. He’s all mine. And I ain’t sharin’.

Masquerade

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If I was actually going anywhere for Halloween this year, what I would really need is one of these fantastic leather masks from teonova. I’m not sure why these catch my fancy so much, except 1) they’re exceptionally cool and 2) I would feel like I was going to a masquerade ball. You know, like in Victorian times, when everyone wore masks and fabulous ball gowns and pretended to be someone else for the evening. My kind of party!

$29 and up. Grab one fast, before they’re gone!

Radical Piercings

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I love my customers. I get a lot of custom orders from them, which I really enjoy, both because they’re a change of pace, and because my customers come up with variations on my designs that would just never occur to me. A lot of these requests come from people with less common piercings and a taste for the handmade.

Those of you with unique piercings will feel their pain - most shops just don’t stock many earrings for large gauge piercings, cartilage piercings, and other body piercings. And if you have a vague idea what you’re looking for, forget it. You’re more likely to find a snowman in summer.



So they come to me, and to other artisan designers, with ideas and requests. And then, lovely people that they are, they send me photos of the finished designs in action! And they’re nice enough to let me share them with you guys. So I thought I’d share a couple of my favorites with you now. Tasha is modeling my Wee Curl worn as a nose ring, and Maggie of little grey cat designs is modeling my Large Gauge Forged Open Hoops along with my Wee Curls. Aren’t they beautiful? Maggie and Tasha, I mean. Well, the jewelry, too, I suppose!

So consider this customer appreciation day. Thanks so much to you all! I really enjoy working with you, and seeing my jewelry being worn and loved just makes my day.

What Fun!

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I finished my first large gauge earrings yesterday. I got in a custom request for my Forged Open Hoops in 8 gauge, and I thought, why not? Sounds entertaining. Mind you, I had no idea how long it would take to forge wire this thick. This is a really substantial pair of earrings. In case you can’t envision the size of these from the picture with the quarter, these babies are 2 1/2” long and 1 1/2” inches wide and freakin solid. What fun!



I enjoyed making these so much that they’re up in my shop. Can’t wait to make some more! Mind you, I may end up with arms like a blacksmith from all the forging…

Slip Sliding Away

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Well, my morning has once again disappeared into that black hole known as “men working on the house”. But the result is these fabulous new frosted glass sliding doors!

Living in a loft is all good and well, but it’s really nice to actually have a bedroom once again. Now I can work at my computer without looking at my unmade bed. And I can sleep without staring at my computer, and thinking about how much work I have to do. A perfect situation all around. And from the bedroom, the glass glows from the light coming through, sort of like a big lantern. Very restful.

Next stop - blinds for the windows instead of the old IKEA curtains…

That One Little Thing

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I had coffee with a friend of mine this week, and we started chatting about eccentricities. It seems we each have an odd habit that’s our “little secret”. Why? Because we figure people will think we’re crazy, of course.

I have my “hanger thing”. I need to have all of the hangers in my closet facing the same way, and all the clothes facing the same way, too. Oh, and categorized by type - you know, shirts together, pants together, jackets together. It’s not just a preference, it’s a need. It really bugs me when they’re out of order.

My friend, she has a kitchen cupboard thing. With mugs. All of the handles have to face exactly the same way. Apparently when her son got old enough to empty the dishwasher, she spent some time explaining this to him, and how important it was that the handles were all facing exactly the same way. And he fell on the kitchen floor, laughing.

Andy and I were watching the Aviator this weekend. Now, neither of us are Howard Hughes. Not likely to live alone in a small room, naked, for months at a time. Or walk around with Kleenex boxes on our feet. But Andy counts thing. He can tell you how many steps it is from where I turn around on our morning walk to the train station. Exactly. Which is, I suppose, a little odd.

I remember having this conversation with another friend in England last Christmas. Because I find my “twitches” a little worrying. There are a lot of eccentrics in my family. But there are some genuine crazies, too. Like my uncle, who was in a mental hospital for years. I’m happy with eccentric. Eccentric is good in an artist, right? And the British celebrate their eccentrics. It’s one of my favorite things about England. But I could live without the padded room, thank you very much.

Well Martin has this theory that we all have “that one little thing”. From where I sit, Martin is exceptionally normal and well balanced. All kinds of fun and entertainment, great to have a beer with, but quite, quite normal. But he does have this one little thing. Every once in a while, he’s convinced that the oven is on. Well, OK, some people get that when they leave the house. So far so good. But he’s convinced that there’s something in the oven. Some small furry creature, say a squirrel. And if he leaves it there, it will die. Yup, I think that qualifies. He definitely has that one little thing.

So there you go. We’re all a bit strange. If I ever run into someone without that one little thing, I’m going to be looking at them sideways. Because now I’m thinking it’s a big thing, and they’re just not talking.

Oh Hats

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I’ve always had a thing for hats. I’m probably the only person in my high school yearbook wearing a hat in my senior picture. And I love this little hat. It’s so very 1920s!

This adorable little cloche is just $42 in Liza Rietz’s shop.

Exactly the Same

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Scene: I’m out walking my dogs. Two guys are walking towards me, chatting. Suddenly one of them stops and stares at my dogs, and says (in a completely amazed voice)…

“They look exactly the same!”

Um, yeah. That would be because they’re the same breed?



Mind you, I hear… let’s call them “entertaining” comments all the time when I’m out walking the dogs. I think the most common one is “Twins!”

Twins? Dogs have litters, darling. Although I have to say the best comment to date was “look - Golden Retrievers!” Uh…